Something is bothering me and I can't get it out of my head. Why become an adult is hard? My school days is over. Now start of a new era of my life, start to work as a typist and I type nearly everything. I do my work and I get paid at the end. I should be happy since I can earn myself a living. That is a huge achievement in my life. I know since I was a kid, I always look up to my dad. Growing up is that one thing that I can't wait. Now, look where am I standing now? I have a car, literally it was belong to my dad, so another item checked in my bucket list. But how about commitments and responsibility? Now that I am all grow up but that doesn't mean I am free from those commitments and responsibility that I have now and that is what bothering me for this whole while.
I get stress up. I was upset. Too many ups and downs. Lots of tension from work. At the end, all of my hard works spend on my commitments. Sad, isn't it? I didn't even get the chance to reward myself. Buy myself a new clothes, or treat myself to a spa or maybe get a new hair done. But I can't. I need to save up. Those are just a temptation which you can avoid. What if I spend all of my money, in case of a emergency, what will you do? Ask from your parents? Hmm, that would be tricky. Since I had promise to myself to not to rely on my mom too much. I am a adult now and I should know how to manage myself. That is why I am quite sad, girls in my age, they spend most their money to reward themselves.
Whenever I feel sad or lost, my boyfriend keeps on reminding me, "What do I want the most?" Me, to study and get a degree. So that's my motivation. That was my reason why I am trying so hard to save up. I come to my sense that I can have those rewards once I get my degree and get a better job. I need to upgrade myself. Just because others can have it, I can't have it too. It just matter of time. They can have it now but I can have it later. Being an adult indeed hard. You are fighting a battle which only you yourself know. You are struggling and yet you show the world you can manage it but in fact, you are hanging on the thread. Life never was easy I must say.